... For Better ...
An intentional month-long journey, building momentum together as we tone our spiritual core to the theme of consecrating our lives to God, for better or for worse.
I always loved novels with a happy ending. That’s why we ended Love on Life Support that way. We wrote the story so the readers would feel hopeful as they finished our book, and went immediately to Amazon to write a glowing review (LOL).
Remember when novels ended with a short pithy, optimistic sentence like, “and they lived happily ever after.” Kind of like the author had to make sure the reader knew this was a happy ending!
I don’t know about you, but when repeating my wedding vows 47 years ago, I probably thought there’d be a lot more better than worse. In fact, I most likely thought my life was going to be a whole lot better now that I was married.
I hope better has played a bigger part in your life than worse. Better days are not perfect, but manageable. Days when you’re certain your prayers are heard and you don’t need miracles. These are days when you wear gratitude like a shield and remember why you were drawn to God in the first place.
I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
A strong relationship with Jesus doesn’t just happen, it has to be maintained. Just like a garden, faithful watering and tending and planting and sowing are needed to keep the garden producing. So, in the better days, the best thing you can do is nurture your faith. Build habits that will stand the test of time.
The one habit that has helped me stand the test of time has been prayer. Prayer is basically communication with God. As marriage mentors, we usually start with a new couple by teaching them some healthy communication skills. There are five basic levels of communication:
Cliches and greetings
Information
Opinions, judgements, ideas
Feelings
Transparency
Most of us stick to the top 3 levels with other people. And I think most of us stick to that same pattern in our prayer life.
Cliches and greetings are like memorized prayers before a meal. There’s nothing wrong with memorized prayers, unless they become so rote that afterward you wonder if you really meant a word of it.
Information. I do a lot of this, but it’s kind of silly. God is all knowing, so I don’t need to tell him the facts. Sometimes we do this publicly, and our purpose is really to tell someone else what they’re doing wrong, in a passive aggressive way.
Opinions, judgments, ideas. This one catches me a lot. For instance, if someone is having health problems, I like to give God suggestions on how the person should be healed or how the doctors should proceed. This is even sillier, since God is the Great Physician. He doesn’t need my advice!
Feelings are hard for lots of us to express. This level of communication goes deeper, requiring me to be open about my emotions. God already does know what’s going on inside me, but when I am willing to open myself up and share honestly, that’s when I grow in intimacy with my Lord. He can even take it when we’re angry with him, and feel he’s turned his back on us. Many Psalms reveal the brutal, raw emotions of the writers, giving us examples of how God welcomes our increased openness, as Psalm 22:1-2 does. And God also reveals a lot about his feelings when we read Jesus cry out in the same words as David in Mark 15:33-34.
Finally, transparency is the highest level of communication with God. This is being willing to share our own failures, brokenness, and wounds. This level of responsiveness to God is the sweet spot of oneness with him. Because growing to be like Jesus presupposes level 5 communication. It’s being brave enough to be as raw and real as he is.
Let my prayer be as the evening sacrifice that burns like fragrant incense, rising as my offering to you as I lift up my hands in surrendered worship! God, give me grace to guard my lips from speaking what is wrong. Guide me away from temptation and doing evil. Save me from sinful habits and from keeping company with those who are experts in evil. Help me not to share in their sin in any way! When one of your godly ones corrects me or one of your faithful ones rebukes me, I will accept it like an honor I cannot refuse. It will be as healing medicine that I swallow without an offended heart. Even if they are mistaken, I will continue to pray.
Psalm 141:2-5 TPT
Questions to Consider when Times are “Better”
Is there any way you’ve taken your relationship with God for granted in the better times? Confess that to him, and make a commitment to begin a habit of level 4 and 5 prayer. If you’re unsure how to begin, ask a seasoned prayer warrior to help you. Journaling your prayers may help. Or take a look at the wonderful work of Every Moment Holy by Douglas Kaine McKelvey. I’ve loved praying his beautiful liturgical prayers.
In the better times, when you have less stress and struggles, consider adding some new habits to your faith walk. Starting a thankfulness journal is a great habit to set. One of my all-time favorite books is Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts (affiliate link). Her story is nothing short of incredible and it started with merely writing down what she was thankful for on a daily basis. Make sure you check out her accompanying video, it’s poetic and creative and not like any other Bible study video you’ve ever seen.
One of the best ways I know of to grow my faith in better times is to serve others who may be in some of the worst times themselves. Out of the blessings we have received, there is great satisfaction and reward in giving back. This can be as simple as sharing your story or babysitting children.
Scripture to Memorize
This month, write these words on your heart by repeating them at least once a day. Use whatever translation you're comfortable with. This one is from the NIV translation.
Consecrate yourselves and be holy, because I am the Lord your God.
Leviticus 20:7 NIV
Worship Music
Chosen just for you to enjoy!
Next Week
Next week we will continue on the theme of consecrating our lives to God, for better or for worse by focusing on the "worse" times.